It’s just as they’ve described it…
Life gets so much simpler. There is less socialising but more solitary and weird eating habits; there is less planned activity [including home cleaning or gardening] and more waiting without waiting. And - there is much much less to say. At least for me. Who are ‘they’? They are the ones I have heard describing life-style changes over the years while experimenting with human design.
Ok my house is not dirty, but nor is it sparkling clean. Not according to my old standards. Since I am the cleaner in the house [my MG partner bless his heart rarely responds to cleaning], I wait for the wave of enthusiastic energy to focus on the cleaning activity. When it comes I feel curiously fulfilled by the chore, however it’s a short-lived activity given that I am getting better at knowing when enough is enough.
I remember hearing Mary Ann Winiger laughing about dusty furniture at home, how she would run her finger through it and marvelling at the paradoxes that come with following the energy of gut response. Dust is ok too. Or Leela Swann-Herbert commenting about not responding to clearing the yard and waiting for the energy. At the time I was secretely horrified. I need my mountain environment to be tasteful. But now I joined the club of what to do.
Situations change and with them the ways we see our lives. Or is it the other way around… My environment is tasteful alright, but it’s my individuated kind of tasteful. I don’t have to work hard at it.
Part of the tastefulness is the elegance of silence and refraining from sharing whatever comes to mind just because my partner enters the room I am sitting in. By keeping the flow of my thoughts to myself - and forgetting most of them soon after - I enjoy a minimalist inner room that’s sparsely furnished, metaphorically speaking, but that still has attractive decorations. Those are the clear points of focus that call me and that bring me joy.
Sometimes I share my inner process with the very few people I socialise with remotely, and those are beautiful moments of mental communion. We resonate and we inspire each other. None of what we share is special, by the way. It’s just what’s relevant and timely for us. That’s what makes it delicious.
Speaking of ‘delicious’. Eating includes anything we take into our bodies and psyches. Movies, social media, books, and also people and their stories and opinions. I am no longer ashamed to say that I hardly know what’s going on out there in the world. Every time someone sends me a link to a local or global piece of news, or a talk or an investigative take on this and that, I notice that I rarely have the appetite or energy for it.
I stopped saving links for ‘later’ unless I can smell a resonance worth waiting for. Now I know. This is my body telling me it doesn’t want to ‘eat’ this ingredient. And movies. My taste in movies has changed a lot, from being versatile and eclectic to very narrow and limited. Almost childlike. Nowadays I only watch a certain kind of Japanese anime that I seem to resonate with. Nothing violent nor too fast and furious visually. I am clearly on a conscutive roll that nourishes my fantasy prone mind.
I was thinking this morning that my PHS regimen has turned out so differently, experientially, from the way I imagined it at the beginning - seven years ago. I started with a clear plan with clear rules. And then my body started talking to me and correcting what I was forcing into it. Slolwy and hesitantly, we started to dance together - my body and my conscious observations. A process of trial and error? - you bet.
Like the old ‘house-cleaning rules’, my fixed mental plans seem laughable now. There appears to be a plan in place but I cannot always tune in. Not immediately.
I think of the people who come to me seeking guidance about their own process. My mind often wonders if I can possibly know how to guide people with such different designs and regimens than mine. I sometimes go ‘blank’ when I see new charts, my focused mind half-panicking while zooming into my neatly catalogued archive of knowledge. But I learned to trust my ‘blanks’. It simply is not the time to focus on this person yet. Ah… timing.
Cycles of experience and of sharing come and go, and the arc is long. But when it’s time - something always comes up.
~
PS
Curious about some of the terms and descriptions of my process above? Here are some of the keynotes that make up my four variables and transformation steps:
Active Consecutive Smelling ; Observed in Tasteful Mountains ; Focused Personal View of Action ; Strategic Innocent Uncertainty